Managing Big Feelings at Home: Coping Skills for People of All Ages
Whether you are a therapist, teacher, caregiver, or looking for ways to support your own mental health, there are a PLETHORA of resources out there. It can be hard to navigate what is worth the cost, who is giving legitimate advice, or where to start. Therapy can be expensive, hard to access, and you won’t always have a session scheduled when things get hard. Knowing how to process and express your emotions at home, find sensory outlets, and calm down anxiety responses is a great way to take care of your wellness during your day-to-day. Keep reading for ideas and resources for people varying ages and abilities.
Young Kids:
Play. Young kids LOVE to play and there are so many ways to use their creativity and imagination to practice emotion regulation, conflict resolution, and calming strategies. Cacia, one of our music therapists, always has a variety of plastic animals from the Target dollar spot in her office. She uses play scenarios with dolls and animals to support kids practicing how to navigate resolving playground disagreements, making mistakes, and offering help to friends who are angry/sad/afraid/etc. You can incorporate some of these into imaginative play time with your kiddo’s favorite toys by modeling how to compromise, apologize, and handle disappointment.
Music. If you are looking for music to help teach emotional expression and provide comfort during meltdowns, look up Stephanie Leavell’s album “I Need a Break: Expressive Songs for Kids.” Stephanie is a music therapist who wrote these 4 songs to help kids ask for a break, cope with missing somebody, feeling nervous, and understand the grumpies. You can find her music on YouTube, Spotify, and Apple Music.
On the Go Calm Kit: Using items from the dollar store, Target dollar spot, or back to school sale sections, you can put together a small bag of items to keep in the car/in your purse/in the house to pull out when things get hard. Depending on your child’s age and interests, it could include little jars of play-dough or silly putty, small coloring books with crayons, a fidget toy, bubbles, a handheld fan, noise-canceling headphones, or a small stuffed animal.
Older Kids, Teens and Adults:
Fridge magnets.There are a plethora of uses for fridge magnets (or cut out strips of words). You can find some laughter by making silly sentences, create poetry, or write song lyrics by choosing and moving the words around. The words are already in front of you, which can reduce some of the creative expression nerves. If you aren’t sure where to start, https://thinkwritten.com/poetry-prompts/ has 101 descriptive prompts that range from “Write about someone who owns far too many cats” to “Imagine you are from another planet, stuck on earth and longing for home” to “What’s it like to feel nothing at all?”
Journaling. You can journal in a notebook, on a computer, a notes app in your phone, or even via voice memo. You don’t need to write every day and it does not have to be profound. Developing skills to communicate your emotions and experiences takes time. Wherever you are right now is all you need. Here are some prompts to get your brain turning:
Gratitude list
What are my strengths?
Draw a silly self-portrait
5 Things I am Curious About
What was something that was surprising today? That overwhelmed me? That brought me joy?
Write a letter to your past or future self
Make a list of affirmations
What does my body need today? What messages do I need receive?
What songs change my day? How?
I believe in _______________
When I think about how far I've come, what lesson(s) have I learned?
Mood Regulation Playlists: Using your music platform of choice, you can create a 30-minute playlist to help shift your mood. You can pair it with movement (walking, dancing, biking, swinging, going outside), your favorite cozy blanket and candle, or your favorite sensory tool for extra input and release. Rebecca’s blog explains the whats, whys, and hows of how to make one: https://www.thesonatinacenter.com/blog-collection/2020/9/14/using-music-to-regulate-emotions-by-rebecca-gildea
Let us know what you think! What resources do you use in your day-to-day life? Which ones would you like to share?